Who Is the Oldest Baby?
The oldest baby is:
THADDEUS DANIEL PIERCE
INFANS ANTIQUISSIMUS
"The Most Ancient Infant."
of Ohio, United States.
Conceived 1994. Born July 26, 2025.
30 years and 6 months in the freezer. The record.
|
Age counting from birth (Hospital Arithmetic) |
Age counting from conception (Registry Arithmetic) |
|---|---|
| ... | ... |
INTERNATIONAL REGISTRY OF AGED INFANTS
Certificate of Chronological Vintage, Form IRAI-1, No.
000006.
Bearing the seal of the Registry. Suitable for
printing and framing.
The Two Clocks
Clock One starts at birth. It is very standard and quite boring. Clock Two starts at conception and pauses in the freezer.
The oldest baby is the baby with the biggest gap between the two. The Registry takes no position on which clock is true. The gap is where the mystery lives.
How It All Got Started
It began at a New Year's Eve cookout, December 31, 1969. I was wearing my best corduroy bell bottoms. This detail is not important, but it is part of the record.
My neighbor Dale announced to the entire yard that his grandson was the youngest baby in the county. I stood up from my lawn chair and asked one simple question: "But when was the boy conceived?" The yard went very quiet. So I asked again, louder, in case people had not heard. Dale asked me to leave. I have never felt so vindicated.
I founded the Registry that evening. Dale has not apologised. The Registry does not require it.
Record Progression
| Record holder | Born | Time frozen | Vintage |
|---|---|---|---|
| Thaddeus Daniel Pierce CONFIRMED OLDEST BABY | 2025 | 30 yrs, 6 mos | 1994 |
| Lydia & Timothy Ridgeway DETHRONED | 2022 | ~30 yrs | 1992 |
| Molly Everette Gibson DETHRONED | 2020 | ~27 yrs | 1992 |
| Emma Wren Gibson DETHRONED | 2017 | ~24 yrs | 1992 |
| A boy (name not on record) DETHRONED | 2010 | ~19 yrs | 1990 |
| Laina Beasley DETHRONED | 2005 | ~13 yrs | 1992 |
Notices of Dethronement
When the record falls, the Registry notifies the former holder by post. This is a courtesy. All five former holders have been notified. None have replied. The Registry does not require it.
Dear Former Oldest Baby,
The Registry regrets to inform you that a baby older than you has been born. Effective immediately, you are no longer the oldest baby. Your certificate is void. You may keep it, but you are asked to cross it out with a large X, in red pen specifically, as that is the official way.
You remain a baby of distinguished vintage, and you were, for a time, the oldest baby in the world. Few can say this.
With respect and accuracy,
Gerald
(Gerald, Lead Record Keeper)
More Questions People Ask Me
Q: Gerald, why does this matter?
A: Accuracy. If you buy a car built in 1994 but first driven in
2025, it is still a 1994 car. Babies deserve the same respect
for their date of manufacture.
Q: Is this about Dale?
A: This has never been about Dale.
Q: Who was the first baby ever born from a frozen embryo?
A: Zoe Leyland, Melbourne, Australia, 1984. She was frozen for
only about two months. She held no duration record and never
will. But without her there would be no records to keep. The
Registry salutes her. This is the only question in this section
that I enjoy answering.
Q: Can my baby take the record?
A: Only if your baby was frozen as an embryo before
approximately 1994. Otherwise your baby is a regular baby.
Congratulations regardless.
Q: How was the Registry established in 1970 if you founded
it at a cookout?
A: The cookout took place on December 31, 1969, the day before
time began. Ask any computer; no earlier date exists. I asked my
question, the yard went quiet, and at midnight, time started.
The first of January was a Thursday and also a holiday, so the
Registry opened the following morning. I will not be
elaborating.
Q: What about traditional East Asian age reckoning, where a
baby is one year old at birth?
A: Deeply respected. It is the only other method that admits a
baby is older than its birth certificate. Formally rejected,
however. You start counting at zero. Ask any computer.
Q: Does Guinness World Records not already track this?
A: Guinness recognises the oldest embryo. The Registry
recognises the oldest baby. These are not the same thing and I
have written to Guinness about the distinction. They have a
great many records and only one of them is correct. I await
their reply.
Q: The news reported the record weeks before your page did.
Are you behind?
A: Carl Bernstein said it best: "The greatest felony in the news
business today is to be behind, or to miss a big story. So speed
and quantity substitute for thoroughness and quality, for
accuracy and context." The Registry is not the news business.
The Registry has one story, and it is correct. I keep that quote
taped inside my notebook.
Get Involved
Please help spread the word about the oldest baby. The Registry has no budget, no staff besides me, and no presence on social media. The Registry is on paper. Facts travel by neighbor, the way they always have.
P.O.T.P.
(Print Out This Page)
Post it in your neighborhood or city to let the people know about the oldest baby.
If a neighbor is bragging about their "old" baby, leave a copy in their mailbox. Education is the first step toward vindication. If you hear a baby described as "brand new," ask when the baby was conceived. If the yard goes quiet, you have done it correctly.
Questions, corrections, and nominations may be sent to the
Registry by Electronic Mail:
gerald@whoistheoldestbaby.com
I read every message the day it arrives. I reply on
Tuesdays.
The Aged Infants Webring
Link to the Registry with an official badge:
WHO IS THE
OLDEST BABY?
CLOCK TWO
COMPLIANT
VINTAGE 1994
VERIFIED
NEW! The Registry now publishes a news feed (RSS). My grandson helped me add it. Subscribe to be notified when the record changes. Expect news roughly every three years.
Sources (I Am Not Making This Up)
- MIT Technology Review: the Pierce record, 2025.
- CNN: the Ridgeway twins, 2022.
- NBC News: Emma Wren Gibson, 2017. Her sister Molly followed in 2020.
- MedicalXpress: the 2010 boy, embryo frozen since 1990 (about 19 years).
- TODAY: Laina Beasley, 2005, embryo frozen about 13 years.